Reflections on Gratitude in Practice
One of the joys — and surprises — of being a Buddhist lay teacher in a small town is that life keeps inviting me into unexpected places of practice. Sometimes that looks like a last minute message asking if I can represent the Long Beach Buddhist community at an interfaith service that very evening.
So one hour later, at a local Jewish temple, surrounded by clergy from many traditions, I made my humble observations squarely from my personal Buddhist point of view.
I was struck by how while each of us spoke about gratitude from within our own life and path, all the different offerings resonated together harmoniously.
Gladdening the Heart
Gratitude isn’t always named outright in Buddhism — we often hear more about loving-kindness, patience, compassion, and equanimity. But gratitude is there too, woven into the very fabric of the Dharma. The Buddha often instructed his students thus: “Begin your practice by gladdening your heart. Reflect on the beautiful qualities of the Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha. Reflect on the series of fortunate circumstances that have given you the motivation and ability to seek freedom and true happiness through practicing the Dharma!”
The Quiet Power of Gratitude
Gratitude has a quiet, counterintuitive power. Like meditation on the breath or the simple act of walking, it invites us to pay attention to our present moment experience of ordinary things, activating our nervous system’s ability to return to balance. It invites us to notice what is already present, and in doing so, noticing and attenuating our deep survival habit of inordinately focusing only on what is negative.
Neuroscience confirms what many of us already know: negative experiences are encoded in the mind almost instantly, while positive ones take longer to register. That’s why one frown in a room of smiles can register so strongly, and linger so long after the memory of the smiles have faded.
Positive experiences also usually necessitate more repetition to take root than negative ones. Think about the carrying power and emotional valence of a negative interaction with a person, place, or thing and how long it would take it to shift under the influence of positive experiences.
Rebalancing Through Gratitude
Cultivating an attitude of wise gratitude helps rebalance this bias. Wise gratitude isn’t toxic positivity. It doesn’t deny difficulty or pain, but it allows us to notice what is good and reminds us we can anchor in what is good, what is supportive, what is nourishing — even if it’s something as simple as the comfort of sitting down, or the ease of a single breath. These may seem ordinary, but when we recognize them, and train in cultivating appreciation and gratitude for them, they can become extraordinary.
Rest and Resilience
It may seem strange, but by learning to skillfully de-emphasize our challenges and problems and tune into what is good right now, even in the midst of so much that isn’t, actually equips us to respond more effectively to life’s challenges. Like an athlete who learns to rest, and heal, we recover strength and poise we wouldn’t possess otherwise.
Try these exercises on their own, as a way to skillfully care for our baseline mood, or as a way to prepare for a meditation session.
Gratitude List
1. Come into presence and rest comfortably
2. Write down anything at all that you are or could be grateful for in no order, just as they come
3. Stop when you like, put your pen or pencil down, and just look at the list- breathe deeply and feel your body/heart/mind
4. Notice how that feels
I was assigned this exercise in the very first mindfulness class I ever took. I thought it sounded corny and pedestrian. I found it to be very revealing. Try it yourself and see.
Gladdening the Heart
1. Come into presence and rest comfortably
2. Ask yourself “What’s good in this moment?” It could be anything at all coming in through the six sense doors. A pleasant sensation anywhere in your body, a nice scent in the air, a memory, or in the example from the Sutta above, “…reflect on the beautiful qualities of the Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha. Reflect on the series of fortunate circumstances that have given you the motivation and ability to seek freedom and true happiness through practicing the Dharma!”
3. Just feel deeply and breathe into the wholesome pleasure that is there for you.
Soften Your Heart
Gratitude can be seen in many ways to encapsulate and embody transformative features of Buddhist practice: learning to rest in what is arising, tune into the goodness of this moment, and recognize life’s steady blessings. Gratitude isn’t just a nicety. It can become a way of practice — a training of the heart to transform how we meet each day.
In closing, the Buddha is said to have taught the following: “A person of integrity is grateful & thankful. This gratitude, this thankfulness, is advocated by all noble people.”
May all beings be happy.
What is one specific, ordinary thing (like a comfortable seat, clean water, or a single easy breath) that our mind usually overlooks, and how can you consciously register and anchor in the goodness of it today?
